Am I single, married or in a relationship?

I would like to answer this question

But I suppose I’m still questioning

This so-called idea of a relationship

I’ve seen dating from a different point of view

Since I was younger, finding love, a life partner

Companionship, to mention but a few

Need a lot of building, together

Time is of the essence I found, it is also very subjective

Time to know each other, find your differences, compromise, build and bond

Time to establish the so-called relationship and make it strong

As silly as it may sound, this is just my perspective

Yet, in the process of building, I get scared to commit

I’m scared if I commit, I’d lose it

I’d lose everything we would’ve been building

These might just be excuses,

I know, I’ve mastered the uncertainties

I’ve gotten used to the emptiness of my bed

And I know what comes next, loneliness

If I let her in, I won’t know what comes next

A heaven’s sent or the devil’s incarnate

And my heart keeps getting more tensed

Yes, sometimes I overthink every situation

Have I made a good impression?

Would she have the right intentions?

Will I love her with all her imperfections?

Maybe I shouldn’t think at all

It’s hard to tell if I’m the next status update

Or I’m a partner till the end of days

I’d rather not find out the hard way

And I’m scared of blind dates

Cos I like to be in control of my own fate

I like to be there emotionally for her yet I keep my emotions at bay

Ask me how that’s possible, I’ll say it’s beyond me

My silence is often not a choice, but a habit

A habit nurtured by time and experience, I can’t help it

But where my voice is lacking, my ears stand in

I’ll listen to all her concerns day out and day in

I’ll let her feel all my love through my actions

Cos my actions aren’t controlled by my words

But my thoughts, see

What I’m looking for is rare

So I play it by the hair

It’s easy to misunderstand me

I’m indeed, complicated

So, if you asked me to summarize my love life

Single, married or in a relationship

I could only tell you my relationship status

is a work in progress

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