I overthink so much 

When you’re next to me, I start to think, “what if one day you’re not?” 

Who could tell the affairs of tomorrow, 

and just how far into the future can I see? 

I’m always bothered by the uncertainty  

Even when I’m in a moment, I still have doubts 

I’m a product of the world people 

Living the karma of everyone else’ 

Drowning in the shadow created by the light of “now” 

It’s like living in the sunshine, feeling it’s warmth 

But thinking about the rain and what comes with the storm 

So forgive me when I’m with you one minute and the next I’m not 

Cause I’m overcome by my worst fears 

Thinking worst-case scenario is a default 

This is how I deal with the worst 

Cause getting hurt wouldn’t be as bad anymore, if I’ve already lived it once 

This is not ideal, I know and I’m still learning 

I’m like a child in this love game, learning everything from scratch again 

I have to learn to love you the best I can 

To know when to pull and hold you closer 

Or when to let go and give you some space

But also not get used to living without you 

Else the essence will be nullified 

I’m learning when to use my words and when it’s best to let my actions speak 

What expectations are healthy and what is unrealistic 

How much love given is too much and how much is too little

Which emotion is here to stay and which ones are too fickle 

The list goes on, it never ends 

I can only be real with my emotions and not pretend 

Cause verbally, I’m very selective, but my mind, it is out of control 

I just want love that a third party cannot corrode 

The type of love that’d catch me when my mind drifts 

And guarantee me that it would never leave 

The type of love that completes each other’s sentences 

Than to leave me hanging, and filled with random guesses 

I want the type of love that makes the heart sing and not sink 

Than to blindly get attached and end up throwing the middle finger 

This is just another chronicle of an over-thinker 

…